These Shoes are Made for Walkin'

These new sneakers are perfect for walking.  Yes, I know, I said walking.  Sure, you make it look so friggin easy.  You have had years to practice.  I’ve only been alive for a couple months.  Heck, I only just figured out how to use my arms a couple months ago.  Give me a break.

That being said, I do think that I have been making some real progress.  I’m not exactly sprinting but I’m working on just basic balance and moving forward.  Literally…… baby steps.

So in preparation for my inevitable freedom from the limitations of crawling, I have prepared a list of things that you should do:

1. Buy me some more sneakers.  I’m going to need grip.
2. Buy me a helmet.  I’ll be going too fast to be safe.
3. Lock up your cabinets.  I’m pretty nosy.
4. Lock up your sons.  I’m a looker and a heart breaker.
5. Put up gates.  I don’t understand stairs yet.
6. Protect yourself.  I’m going to be going fast and your crotch seems like a good place to help me slow down.
7. Warn the dog.  If she thinks she’ll be getting a break, she is sorely mistaken.
8. Clean off a large shelf.  I’m going to need a place to put all my trophies.
9. Crib? I don’t need no stinking crib.

So based on the above information, I think that I have given fair enough warning to the world.  Watch out Usain Bolt.  You are next on my list.

I can almost feel the wind in my hair.

Shoes - Nike